My plan was not only to cease posting humorous (and irritating), Facebook-Trump posts, but eradicate all existing FB posts after Hillary won the election.
But given the over-performing popular vote decidedly taking it up the canyon in California, plus the rust-belt, alarmingly between tetanus shots, I (as a Never-Trumpite), must now give my Timeline some breathing space, a chance to heal - and celebrate other less polemical, less combative creative efforts while emphasizing family pictures (preferably of me), and lots and lots of dog pictures of the Weimy persuasion.
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| Exotic, New Jersey Weimies. |
Which is all to say my Facebook Timeline has been utterly expurgated - not to mention decisively expunged - of all Trump commentary. For those of you who think I'm converting to complacency or have overdosed on Pepto Bismol, FEAR NOT!
For given that this is the time for end-of-year, Best-of-Lists, I am compelled to compile my favorite, 20 Best Trump Posts for 2016!, based on two major criteria:
- Stand alone comments only
- No comments (dozens!) associated with graphics or linked articles (Politico proved a constant inspiration - as did Trump).
1. July 11: I propose if Hillary Clinton loses the election, Donald Trump should move to Canada.
2. July 11: Y'know, if Trump hadn't existed, Rod Serling would have had to create him.
(The convention)
3. July 21: Hey TED CRUZ, GET A GRIP!! lot's of things are said in the heat of a primary campaign. Y'know, like your wife's too ugly to be a fashion model, you're an ineligible foreigner WHO CAN'T run for president - your Cuban father was a co-conspirator in the JFK assassination. Y'know like, just lighten up, will yer
4. July 21: Based on confidential sources, look tonight during Trump's acceptance speech for announcements on appointees for cabinet assignments - including BEN CARSON for the newly created post of EXORCISMS.
5. July 22: Mike Pence should swap roles with Scott Baio. What?! Too soon?
(The campaign)
6. August 2: Now that Trump is saying Hillary is the "Devil", I suppose the burden of proof is on her to produce a Terra Firma birth certificate.
(First debate)
7. September 26: #debatenight Latest instruction to audience: "Please refrain from sucker-punching the person next to you".
8. September 26: #debatenight Reportedly, Trump will accuse any Democratic Viagra users of having a rigged erection
(Second debate)
9. October 19: #debatenight And it's about to begin. Praying for commercial interruptions - and an appearance by Alec Baldwin.
(The Campaign)
10. November 6: As a sometime professional lyricist, I feel obliged to say "BLOW ME, COMEY!!"
(The 5 Stages of Grief)
11. November 9: #recount I DEMAND A RECOUNT!! Starting w/ half the voter's marbles.
12. November 9: Trump will probably be good for manufacturing, given how much he likes to make stuff-up.
13. November 10: Started #TrumpSings!, my new musical. Finished opening number, "The Birther of the Blues".
14. November 12: DONALD J. TRUMP & "PROFESSIONAL PROTESTORS" See? He's already creating jobs
15. November 12: JUST STOPPED AT BOTTLE KING. Thought I'd buy some Spanish wine before it's deported
16. November 12: PERSONALLY, I'M READY FOR AN INTERVENTION. Or as some people like to call it, mid-term elections.
17. November 12: OK, TIME FOR OPTIMISM! FOR EXAMPLE, "Draining the swamp in Washington" could be all about Trump's first EPA directive!
18. November 13: WAIT, WAIT, there's more! Based on his own experience, Trump will put in place ACCOST CONTROLS.
19. November 14: THIS JUST IN!!: GIVEN THE FAILURE TO PASS THE CASINO BILL IN NORTHERN JERSEY, TRUMP HAS STEPPED UP PROMOTION FOR OFF-TRACK RACE BAITING. (Believe me, it's true..it's true).
20. December 17:
Dear Santa,
Can I please have a new Precedent Elect with an off-button??
Your friend,
charlie
